He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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