ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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