So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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