There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
