when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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