onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
