It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
