i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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