i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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