it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he thought i was a dude.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
