He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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