What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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