Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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