all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize