i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
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He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
When are your genitals available?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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