Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
