I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
