brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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