i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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