i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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