your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
