K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
