Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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