she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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