I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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