arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
