At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize