he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it glows. i had to have it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
