Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I believe in your delicious
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
