My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
