Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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