Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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