Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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