This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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