it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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