We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
