im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
