I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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