does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Come on in and take your pants off
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