you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Even my vagina gasped.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
