i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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