I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
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He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
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THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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