I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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