At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
