She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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