And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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