A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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