these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
