is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
