Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize