i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
