Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize