Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize