i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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