Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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