i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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