Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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